When someone struggles with a substance use disorder, it is common for them to break the trust of people close to them and cause strain in relationships. This breakdown can occur for a number of reasons that the individual wasn’t in control of while they were engaging in substance misuse. Sometimes, this tension or lack of trust can continue even after the individual takes the steps to get help and live a sober lifestyle. While it might not seem possible now, you can restore broken relationships and rebuild the trust of others. This overall healing process requires time, patience, and dedication.

Identifying How Substance Misuse Can Lead to Broken Trust

You may be able to look back and easily identify certain actions from your past that hurt the people around you when you were engaging in substance use. However, you may also have little memory of the things you did while in active use. Regardless, substance misuse can bring pain to others and break trust in many ways. Some common examples include:

• Failing to keep up with personal or professional obligations 
• Lying about your behavior or sneaking around 
• Defending your behavior and saying you don’t have a problem
• Getting into legal trouble and depending upon loved ones to get you out of it
• Forcing others to pick up your slack or support you financially 
• Stealing money to obtain a certain substance
• Saying hurtful things you don’t really mean while under the influence 
• Showing aggressive behavior or breaking things 

Becoming the Best Version of Yourself 

You’re not going to be able to rebuild trust with others until you take the steps to get better and become the best possible version of yourself. The first step in this process is seeking treatment for your substance use disorder. You can choose from different treatment options such as inpatient or outpatient programs. Your doctor will help you decide which option is the best fit for you and your unique situation. 

After you go through detox and complete the initial treatment stages, you’ll want to make sure that you continue to hold yourself accountable. Your accountability for your life and growth involves following through with your treatment plan laid out by your treatment provider, attending therapy sessions, and participating in support group meetings. 

While in treatment, you will work with a therapist to help determine the root cause of your addiction or the reason why you began engaging in substance misuse in the first place. Some examples of these causes could be struggling with a previously undiagnosed mental health condition, being in an unhealthy relationship, or having a toxic living environment. Now that you’ve identified the root cause, it is up to you to make the necessary changes to your life in order to prevent a possible relapse. 

Your growth and healing depend on you taking your recovery journey seriously, not only in the first few months but every day. By showing your loved ones that you’re truly dedicated to this journey, they will be more likely to forgive you moving forward. 

Making Amends and Asking For Forgiveness 

When you feel that the time is right, sit down with those you have hurt. Ask for forgiveness for the ways that you may have hurt them. Assure them that you are taking your recovery seriously and are doing everything in your power to maintain your sobriety and make things right. When you’re done speaking, allow them the chance to talk and encourage them to share openly how they are feeling. They might not yet be at a point in their own healing process where they are ready to forgive you. That is okay. Be patient and give them the space that they need. If they are unwilling to speak with you at all, you could consider sending them a letter to apologize. 

You’ll also want to make amends in other ways to fix any damage that you’ve caused. Some examples include: 

• Paying back money that was loaned to you or that you stole 
• Replacing items that have been broken or damaged
• Practicing accountability 
• Doing what you can to secure stable employment 
• Respecting other people’s boundaries 
• Staying true to your word regarding how you will make things better moving forward
• Participating in open and honest conversation
• Avoiding the urge to make excuses for your past actions 

When you have done everything possible to make amends for your past behavior and rebuild trust, you must also forgive yourself. Beating yourself up about the past will not help you heal or move forward. While some people may not be willing to forgive you, that is okay. You should focus on the people who are open and accepting of your apology. 

It is normal for those struggling with substance misuse to unintentionally hurt those closest to them and break their trust as a result of bad behavior. Some examples of this could include failing to keep up with personal or professional obligations, stealing, lying, or getting into legal trouble. Other examples include saying hurtful things, damaging personal property, or becoming aggressive. While it might not seem possible now, you can repair relationships and restore broken trust. The first step is seeking treatment and taking your recovery seriously. You can then apologize for your past actions and do whatever you possibly can to make amends. By showing your loved ones that you are dedicated to your new lifestyle, they will know you truly want to make a positive change. If you are struggling with a substance use disorder, our team at The Kimberly Center can help. Call (855) 452-3683 today.