Relationships are already hard to manage at times, but if you add addiction into the mix of difficulties, you will probably see some codependency from everyone involved. Whether a parent is covering for their child or a spouse is deflecting for their significant other, addiction is a family disease that happens so quickly that most are unaware they are enabling or becoming codependent on one another.
The cycle of abuse creates unhealthy behaviors to act as a coping mechanism for what is actually happening. While the person who is suffering with addiction is lying, stealing, and cheating, the codependent loved one is stuck cleaning up their mess to keep everyone who is involved from getting stressed out or keep everyone safe. In reality, this codependent person is making the ultimate sacrifice by trying to keep everything as normal as possible at the expense of their own security and sanity.
On the flipside there are those loved ones who refuse to have anything to do with the addiction by stating the problem is not theirs. While this may seem like the safest way to approach the situation by staying out of it, addiction affects everyone involved and even if the loved one is not the one drinking and using, they still have issues and emotions that they need to work out for themselves.
There will come a time when something in a codependent relationship has to give way. Regardless if the person who is addicted gets helps, the other person in the relationship should seek their own help. The term detaching with love is one of the ways that you will commonly hear someone who has had enough and will no longer enable the situation to stop their unhealthy behaviors in the relationship.
Instead of juggling around the chaos that addiction causes, you will try to disengage from the dysfunction and let them suffer the consequences of their actions.
You will keep getting what you are getting if you keep doing what you are doing. Unless you take some drastic measures, the person with the addiction will continue to be selfish, self-delusional, and full of denial which will not serve any good purpose for you.
Taking care of you before you can take care of anyone else is an important concept to grasp. Seek help for yourself and hopefully your addicted love one will follow suit.
Detaching with love will help you, a person who happen to get caught in the crossfire, to set some healthy boundaries. You do not have to think of yourself as a victim, you can think of yourself as someone who wants to help a sick people to get well.
If you or someone you know needs help with their drug or alcohol addiction, The Kimberly Center has a treatment plan that will work for you. We believe that successful recovery encompasses the improvements in your self-esteem, relationships, and vocational productivity that substance abuse took away from you.
Call us today to begin: 855-4-KCENTER (855-452-3683)