This is a controversial subject: is it ever okay for you (as a parent) to drink in front of your children? Perhaps you would not think much about having a glass of wine at dinner or cracking open a beer while watching a football game. Maybe doing this is absolutely out of the question for you.  

It is common to base this decision on your childhood and what your parents did. If your parents drank responsibly in front of you and were healthy, loving people, then you may be more likely to drink in front of your own kids. 

Alternatively, if your parents were angry and potentially violent and addicted to alcohol, you may not feel comfortable drinking in front of your children or drinking at all. Perhaps you might have grown up in what is known as a “dry home” where alcohol use simply was not present. This may cause you to be on the fence regarding what you want to do regarding your own kids. 

At the end of the day, whether or not you choose to consume alcohol around your children is up to you. It may be helpful to evaluate both sides of the issue moving forward.

Why It Might Seem Okay to Drink in Front of Your Children 

Perhaps you believe that hiding alcohol in front of your kids and never using it in front of them can make your children more curious and interested in trying it for themselves when presented with the opportunity in the future. Although, if their parents drink in front of them periodically and responsibly, it may take away some of the allure. 

It is also possible to practice and model responsible drinking habits and teach your children how alcohol is intended to be used. This would hopefully lead the child to grow up and take after you by also drinking responsibly. 

Reasons Why Parents Drinking in Front of Their Children Could Be Harmful 

One of the most dangerous consequences to consider of you drinking in front of your children is that the children may associate it with a certain circumstance or response. For example, if they see you reaching for alcohol when you are stressed or scared, they are going to have an incorrect impression of how alcohol should be used. 

Additionally, if they know that you often end up drinking and getting into altercations, the children will likely grow up to fear alcohol. It is important to consider how you may be acting when you drink. Do you become more irritable and quick to lash out at them, or do you become more relaxed and jovial? 

You should also consider how often you engage in alcohol use in front of your children. For example, if the first thing that you do every day when you get home from work is to pour yourself a drink, then the child will grow up believing that it is necessary to drink to relax after a long day. Additionally, if you drink at every social function you bring your children to, your children will come to believe that alcohol is necessary to have fun or socialize. 

The Bottom Line 

The bottom line is that if you choose to drink in front of your children, you must do so responsibly and set a good example. For instance, you should never be intoxicated in front of your children, drink and drive in front of them, engage in risky or unsafe behavior while drinking, or become angry and lash out after having a drink. This can all lead the child to have an incorrect or skewed idea of how alcohol should be used. 

You should also be cautious about the time you are drinking. For example, drinking in the middle of the day or drinking in excess is not setting a good example, even if this is not something you do regularly. 

It is crucial to your child’s development to also consider the reason for having the drink in front of your child. If you are doing it to celebrate your partner’s birthday, a promotion at work, or a friend’s engagement, then it shows your children what environment alcohol is intended to be used in. 

If you are drinking after having an argument with your partner or after receiving some sort of bad news, then you are teaching your child that alcohol is for comfort during times when you are experiencing a negative emotion. 

Finally, do not forget to teach your children about what alcohol is and how it should be used to instill knowledge and a healthy relationship with alcohol for the future. 

Whether or not it is ever okay for parents to drink in front of their children is a controversial subject for some people. Many don’t see anything wrong with having a drink or two during a social event or while celebrating milestones, while other people don’t believe alcohol should ever be used in front of a child. It can be helpful to look at either side of the issue. Some people may argue that when parents drink responsibly in front of their children, they are modeling the way alcohol should be used. Others worry that some children may connect alcohol use with certain circumstances, such as arguing or physical altercations. The bottom line is that if you drink in front of your children, you should be cautious of when, where, and how much you’re drinking. If you’re struggling with substance misuse, call The Kimberly Center today at (855) 452-3683.