Being an adult with a parent struggling with a substance use disorder is a challenging position to be in. After all, because you are used to your parent being an authority figure in your life, it can be difficult to try to criticize or correct them. 

As an adult, you may have trouble approaching your parent about their substance use because you do not feel it is your place. You might be afraid of how your parent might respond, or are afraid of how it will affect their relationship. This can be dangerous because the longer their behavior persists without intervention, the greater risk they face of experiencing serious problems. It is important to do your best to help your parent or parents get treatment, but you must never forget to take care of yourself during this time. 

Preparing to Approach a Parent About Their Substance Use Habits 

If you know that one of your parents is struggling with a substance use disorder, it is crucial to recognize that you do not have to carry this burden on your own. Reach out to the other people in your life to help support you and your effort to get this person the help that they need. This can include your other parent, grandparents, siblings, or even some of your parent’s closest friends. Together you will likely have better luck tackling this situation than if you tried to handle it on your own. You may also consider reaching out to a licensed addiction specialist or psychologist who can help provide you with advice and resources that may be of use to you during this time. 

Before confronting your parent about their substance use habits, you must prepare yourself for how they might respond. It is possible that they will become defensive or angry or deny that they have a problem altogether. They may even refuse treatment. Do not let this discourage you or cause you to give up trying to get them help. 

You will also want to remember that their substance use is not your fault and that you have done nothing to contribute to the situation they are dealing with. Many children of people struggling with addiction also struggle with self-blame when in reality, it is the parent’s decisions alone that led to their addiction. 

Before approaching your parent, you will also want to do some research about what local treatment options are available for your parent. This information could include different types of facilities, the services they offer, contact information, and an idea of what types of services they provide. The goal in doing this is to have this information to present to your parent when you confront them. By doing this, you are essentially making the decision to seek treatment as easy as possible for them. 

The Process of Approaching Your Loved One About Their Addiction 

It is your judgment call whether you decide to approach your parent about their addiction by yourself or while gathered with close loved ones. Be sure to approach them in a private area where they will feel the most secure. You will want to be kind and polite and avoid raising your voice or getting emotional. Let your parent know that you are not coming from a place of judgment, nor are you trying to guilt trip or shame them. You are simply coming from a place of love and concern for their well-being. Finally, encourage them to seek professional treatment and present them with the resources you gathered about local treatment facilities. 

Taking Care of Yourself While Dealing With a Parent Struggling With Substance Use 

It can be very stressful and emotionally draining to have a parent struggling with substance use, which is why it is so crucial to take time to take care of yourself while going through this experience. This involves making sure you’re eating enough nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, and fitting a workout into your routine. 

You should also consider practicing self-care. Self-care can look different from person to person, but it is whatever works for you in regards to taking care of your mental, physical, or emotional well-being. 

Some examples include:

• Spending some time immersed in nature
• Practicing yoga
• Taking a bubble bath
• Having a cup of coffee with a friend 
• Attending a therapy session
• Cooking your favorite meal
• Taking a nap 
• Asking for help when you need it 
• Going for a walk in the park 
• Reading a chapter of a book
• Watching an episode of your favorite show 
• Practicing journaling 
• Drawing, painting, craft, and other creative outlets

Watching the parent who raised you struggle with substance use can be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. After growing up with your parent as an authority figure, it can be awkward,  uncomfortable, and a fine line to balance when approaching them about their behavior. However, the goal is to convince them to seek help because the longer that they continue engaging in substance misuse without intervention, the higher the chances that they will face serious physical and mental health consequences. Remember that their addiction is not your fault, and while you can do your best to convince them to seek help, it is up to them to make the decision to seek treatment. However, always remember to make time to take care of yourself during the process, or your own mental health will suffer in the long run. For additional help and resources, call The Kimberly Center today at (855) 452-3683.