Owning Your Stuff

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Owning your stuff is being truthful with yourself and taking responsibility for your actions. In the past, before you got sober and even now, you may put up barriers to your truth. In doing so you can established skewed perceptions of your behaviors, thoughts and feelings. You may have done this in order to keep yourself safe from internal and external criticism. Another reason you dodge the responsibility to own what is yours is the fear of repercussions.

When you don’t own your stuff you are being deceitful. You may try to pass the buck, minimize the situation, pretend it’s not your problem or that you don’t care. There are a wide range of areas in life to look into as you begin to own your stuff. Take your family as one example. Perhaps you told your grandmother you couldn’t make Thanksgiving dinner because you were sick. The real reason may be that you are afraid of being tempted to have a drink. Now you are alone at home, unable to see your sister’s new baby and connect with those you love.

Maybe you don’t end up going to Thanksgiving this year. Your fear of drinking is legitimate. You need more sobriety to be able to cope when alcohol is present. Instead of going, you call your grandmother and tell her the truth. Owning your fear and having the courage to name it is a step in the right direction. Chances are you will feel better about yourself when you do.

Owning your stuff is different from keeping personal information to yourself. This isn’t about secrets, it’s about discernment—where, when and what to reveal or keep to yourself in order to be safe. An example of this is not telling your boss, a unsavory and untrustworthy character, you were late from lunch because you went to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting.

One of the 12 Steps in AA recommends making a fearless and moral searching inventory. Whether you do this is a personal decision. Owning your stuff is not about beating yourself up. Nor is it about making an exhaustive list of people you may have harmed. If your list is too extensive, you may want to give your ego a gentle reminder about humility. Another action you can take in sobriety is owning your stuff in the moment. The 12 Steps in AA have a suggestion for this instance: when we are wrong promptly admit it. Owning your stuff can lighten your outlook. It takes courage, the courage you already have in your heart.

Evidence-based and built with passion. Our primary purpose at The Kimberly Center is to assist those who are suffering in finding recovery. Restoring a healthier, happier, more productive life, graduates of our program find themselves free from substance dependence and destructive behavior. Call us today for information: 855-4-KCENTER (855-452-3683)

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