Dating Successfully with ADHD

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Dating can be complicated for anyone; factoring in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can make it even more of a challenge. ADHD is a common disorder that begins in childhood and can persist throughout adulthood. People with ADHD typically struggle with paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviors, and hyperactivity. If you live with ADHD, you may have difficulty with staying organized, time management, multitasking, planning, and completing tasks. You may also struggle with emotional issues like mood swings, coping with stress, and having a hot temper.

None of these issues mean that you can’t find a romantic partner or form deep friendships. Interpersonal success will take patience, self-awareness, and strategizing. If you or someone you are dating shows signs of ADHD, it’s important to manage them intentionally to lead a successful life, in romance and in general. In addition, the steps you take to overcome any obstacles posed by ADHD are often the same steps it takes to make any relationship succeed, whether or not you have a disorder.

The Challenges of Dating with ADHD

If one of the participants in your relationship has ADHD, you may notice challenges like inconsistency, boredom, and trouble processing emotions. One aspect of ADHD is intolerance for a set routine. Doing the same thing every day can potentially drive someone away. In many cases, people want to date exclusively, and this issue can make it hard to stay consistent in a relationship.

While each person’s emotions work differently, people tend to fall within a similar emotional range each day. Even when people change their views, it’s typically in a predictable manner that doesn’t stray far from their initial values. Someone with ADHD may tend to naturally go with the flow, feeling their way through situations one by one. This behavior can be confusing for both parties. Whether you or your partner are the ones with ADHD, here are some tips to help the relationship work more smoothly.

Organized Dating with ADHD

One common symptom of ADHD is forgetfulness. A person may forget important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. This makes patience and organization keys to success. If you are the one with ADHD, a calendar can be your best friend. If you are on the receiving end, practice patience and understand that your partner’s forgetfulness is not on purpose. Work with them to set up a routine that works for the entire relationship.

Another issue you may notice with ADHD is social miscues. To effectively connect with others, you need to be able to read body language in social situations. Someone with ADHD may misunderstand what other people mean, or they may let others’ reactions go by unnoticed. In many cases, nuances like sarcasm, fear, and other unspoken messages can get overlooked. As someone with ADHD, it behooves you to practice developing self-awareness and awareness of the people around you. When you are in a relationship, you’re going to want to know how to read your partner without having to ask all the time. Do your best to be in a position to communicate effectively.

Declutter and Organize Your Mind

It’s no secret that one of the earliest signs of ADHD is disorganization. This can make it difficult to share a living space, especially if you have a partner who prefers things to be tidy. If your partner brings up cleanliness to you, take a moment to consider. Relationships are built on compromise, and it’s important to remember that just because your standards may be different, this doesn’t make either one of you more or less valid.

You may also know that it is easy for you to get distracted. Perhaps you find yourself losing your train of thought after your phone rings while on a date. If this is the case, take steps to ensure that you and your partner get undivided attention. When spending quality time together, put away cell phones, turn off the TV, and close the laptops.

Be Honest About Your Needs

For most people, the purpose of dating is to figure out with whom you do and don’t belong. The goal isn’t to mold someone you want to date or allow them to change you into their perfect match. Don’t think that expecting or forcing change is a good substitute for breaking up when the time comes. If you live with ADHD, you may particularly dislike the feeling of being physically or emotionally uncomfortable. This can result in putting off the task of ending a relationship.

There’s a higher chance that someone with ADHD will stay attached to people long after the relationship has run its course. You can organize your dating experience by figuring out what you want out of a relationship and then evaluating whether you are getting what you need. If your needs aren’t being met, it’s probably time to move on.

Dating with ADHD can be tricky for you and your partner. Though not always easy, it’s nothing that can’t be handled when addressed with love and dedication. Every relationship takes time, energy, and intention to succeed, regardless of any disorders. If you are the one with ADHD, self-awareness is key. Finding a way to organize your life and relationship effectively can work wonders for you and your partner. Once you are aware, you will gain the ability to educate your partner so they can have a better understanding of your mind. If you or your loved one feels that your ADHD has become too big an issue to handle alone, reach out for professional assistance. Located in Fort Myers, Florida, The Kimberly Center offers a wide range of treatments and services to help you overcome your problems and live a healthy life. Contact us at (855) 452-3683 today to learn how we can help you.

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