How to Overcome the Fear of Being Alone

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Many people are battling the fear of being alone, and it can be draining emotionally. Even those who consider themselves strong-willed can have difficulties with this fear. Self-doubt can take hold, and self-respect can be crippled as a result of the fear of loneliness.

The Domino Effect of Feeling Lonely

The fear of being alone is similar to a domino effect, where one bad experience can lead to long-term concerns about loneliness. In turn, these concerns can expand further into depression or anxiety. This same negative domino effect can affect areas of your life that are more positive, too, meaning that a change in one area of life can have an impact on everything else. In your subconscious mind, you may be thinking that something awful may be coming your way, which can lead to a fear of separation.

When people have negative experiences, their bodies gather information about the situation, creating an uncomfortable feeling. These emotions can begin to follow the initial physical discomfort while the brain begins to think of negative outcomes. This same feeling and the emotions that come with it go into prevention mode to avoid feeling the same way sometime later.

Sometimes, the fear of being alone can come from outside information, like news, movies, or past traumas. When something super intense happens, whether directly or indirectly, it becomes a high priority for your brain to store. All it takes is one traumatic event to create the possibility that, from that point on, you will be reminded of your fears if you ever get the same feeling.

Finding a Solution

One way to overcome irrational fears or feelings is to build a whole new relationship with yourself. Empower yourself by learning to understand your fears. This understanding can lead to new perceptions that will counteract the scary or negative experiences you may go through.

Once you can change your feelings towards something, there can be a shift in how you see things. A situation that once felt threatening can now become part of a positive relationship with your mind and body. When there’s a physiological fear, stress, tension, or worry, you have to create a physiological shift to allow yourself to think about it differently.

When you are faced with your fear, don’t be afraid to slow down and be alone for a moment. If you think about it, in every other aspect of life, speed determines whether something is safe or not. This goes for walking, talking, driving, and many other things in life.

Avoiding Triggers

Try to avoid any triggers that bring about your fear of loneliness. These triggers can intensify the negative feelings you associate with loneliness. If your triggers come from your childhood, then it may be helpful to seek therapy and a strong support system to work through your challenges. When these underlying issues are addressed, it can help resolve past issues.

Being Alone Can Be Healthy

Humans are naturally social, craving interactions with other people. If there were no social interaction, people would not have evolved into what they are today. Understand that separating yourself from large groups of people can be beneficial for your mental health.

One important aspect is finding the line between being alone and being lonely. Spending too much time around large groups of people can have the same negative effect as spending too much time alone. You may begin to feel irritable, anxious, or stressed. If you develop understanding and love for yourself through meditation and reflection, then the fear of being alone does not have to exist. Spending time with people can take a lot of energy if you try to make others happy, stroke egos, or even read their emotions.

Learning that it is ok to spend time alone to recharge can help you take a mental and emotional break. While you are spending that time alone, try to reflect. Any thoughts or feelings shared when interacting with others are better processed when you are by yourself. When you aren’t spending enough time alone to process, then you could become irritable towards others.

Truly Enjoy Your Alone Time

Some people fear being alone because of what awaits them mentally when no one is around. It’s easy to lose yourself when you are constantly running away from time alone. When you begin to truly enjoy your alone time, you may eventually gain a better perspective of your emotions. You will reach a deeper understanding of your inner self, resulting in better interactions between you and your peers.


The fear of loneliness is a tough battle to fight. Just because the issue at hand is the fear of being alone doesn’t mean that you have to take on the burden by yourself. Take the time to be alone and discover yourself. Your support system can provide you with love and information and, if needed, help lead you to some professional help. Learning to be alone isn’t something that can be done overnight, but meditation, reflection, and paying attention to your emotions can go a long way. If you feel as though you need some extra help, The Kimberly Center can provide some assistance. We offer many different treatment options that can fulfill your needs. If your fear of loneliness has led to an addiction, depression, or anxiety, we offer treatment specifically for you — everything from continuing care programs, intensive outpatient programs, and long-term treatment programs. Contact The Kimberly Center at (855) 452-3683.

Kimberly Center Staff
Kimberly Center Staff
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