Setting Boundaries in Relationships

Setting boundaries for your relationships is essential, whether you are in recovery or not.  A codependent relationship is an unhealthy and dysfunctional connection with another human being and can result in severe emotional suffering.  In codependency, one person may be an enabler while the other is a taker.  The enabler, whether they like it or not, continues to give in hopes for return of love and acceptance, while the taker will continue to take until there is nothing left for the enabler to give.  People who are codependent often seek out relationships that are one-sided, abusive, and emotionally damaging.  While one person may be suffering from drug addiction, the other is suffering from relationship addiction.  The person with a relationship addiction is always trying to help the other person who is addicted to drugs by getting them more, helping them hide it, or trying to fix them.  The enabler continuously makes excuses for the addict, as well.  Boundary issues can stem from childhood.  People with boundary problems may have grown up with strict authority where they were unable to express their feelings.  This causes future relationships to suffer because you aren’t able to express your needs, which causes people to take advantage of you.  

When a person who is suffering from drug addiction decides to get clean, it is imperative for them to develop healthy boundaries in their relationships.  Once you are no longer using drugs and alcohol to numb your feelings, you have a stark sense of self-awareness.  You now need to determine how you want to be treated and what you think is acceptable treatment of others.  You will likely have a brand new sense of self-worth and will begin to develop moral standards that were probably once buried by the use of drugs and alcohol.  

Healthy boundaries lead to healthy relationships.  One common trait of an unhealthy relationship is blaming others for your problems.  Learning to take responsibility for yourself and your actions in recovery is essential.  Your problems are not anyone else’s fault.  It is likely that you want people to respect you.  Respect is earned, it is not given.  You need to treat others the way you want to be treated.  Establishing moral values is equally important.  There will be people who do not have the same beliefs as you, but it is important to always stand true to what you believe in, even when others don’t feel the same.  The vigorous practice and these traits will help to develop quality long-lasting relationships.  

The Kimberly Center is a place for healing. We welcome you to our treatment programs for substance dependence and abuse where the number one goal is restoring your or your loved one to live a healthier, happier, and more productive life. A life free from substance dependence and destructive behaviors waits. Call us now for information on our programs of treatment and start your journey today: 855-452-3683