People who attend 12-Step meetings often hear about the 1-year rule – do not date in their first year. Being newly sober and trying to navigate through your feelings without drugs and alcohol can cause you to make erroneous decisions in relationships while being overly emotional. Plus, the growth that you will experience in your first year of sobriety from working steps and going to therapy will undoubtedly go unmatched if the love interest does not make the same efforts.
If you are already in a relationship, however, you may be second guessing what you should do in that relationship. Is divorce an option? Should you just break up a long-term relationship, or even a short-term one, for the sake of your recovery? The answer to these questions is not necessarily that cut and dry. Every person is different, every relationship is different, and every recovery program is personal which makes this decision something that should be considered carefully.
To determine whether you should stay in a relationship or not, you should check the caliber of your connection. If your relationship tends to be toxic or unhealthy, you need to see where the source of your imbalance is. Drugs and alcohol are usually the culprits, but they are also merely a symptom of something much bigger. Using the steps and therapy to find your part in the negative aspects of how you are coexisting can make clear what areas in the relationship need to be changed for the better.
One important thing in understanding how to navigate relationships is to keep yourself in check first and foremost. You may want to place blame on your significant other although you need to realize that you should never try to change someone else and only solely focus on what needs to be changed within you. When you change, everything and everyone can change around you as well. Change is not something that people want to do because it is a difficult process. Someone will usually begin to change when they see others change around them and you can be instrumental in initiating the course.
You did not get sober to stay in a relationship that continuously beats you down. In fact, in recovery, you need to concentrate on the main task at hand which is to stay sober. Without your sobriety, your relationships will not be healthy and you will remain in relationships that are not growing in the right direction. Change is inevitable and you can be the difference.
The Kimberly Center is an evidence-based treatment facility that helps someone who is suffering from drug and alcohol addiction. Successful recovery encompasses improvements in self-esteem, vocational productivity, and interpersonal relationships which is what is our goal is with your unique treatment program.
Call us today to begin: 855-4-KCENTER (855-452-3683)