When many people think of issues related to low self-esteem, they think of teenagers and young adults who are still trying to form an identity. However, many people do not realize that self-esteem issues can develop at a much younger age and can continue to cause problems when they are older. If a child is struggling with low self-esteem, it does not necessarily indicate that their parents have done anything wrong. It could simply mean that they are frequently comparing themselves to others and feel inadequate as a result. 

It is critical to address childhood self-esteem issues before they lead to mental health disorders when the child is older. Thus, parents need to be able to identify if their child is struggling with poor self-image, determine the triggers, and work on repairing how their child views themself. 

Signs of Low Self-Esteem in a Child

• Talking negatively about themselves
• Disliking their appearance 
• Avoiding new experiences out of fear they will not do well
• Not being able to deal with pressure or stress 
• Trouble making and keeping friends
• Lacking motivation or interest in new things
• Fear of embarrassing themselves
• Not wanting to talk in public 
• Not feeling worthy or wanted 

While some of these signs could simply be shyness that the child will grow out of, there may be more going on if they exhibit more than one or two traits above. 

Reasons a Child Could Be Dealing With Low Self-Esteem

Many factors can trigger low self-esteem in a child. Talking about how they view themself and why they feel that way can help narrow down the primary cause. 

#1. Comparison 

It is hard not to compare yourself to others, even as an adult. When children become old enough to compare themselves to their peers, they may begin to see physical or behavioral qualities in them that they wish they had themselves. Desirable traits can be simple at first—like wishing they were as tall as their friend or as good at baseball as another kid in their class—but this sense of comparison can become more severe over time. 

#2. Feeling Incompetent 

When a child grows older, they will begin to recognize their flaws or weaknesses, particularly in areas they really care about. For example, if they hate math and do not perform well on a math test, they might not be significantly affected. However, if they are passionate about sports and do poorly during a game, they may feel a sense of incompetence. 

#3. Experiencing Too Much Pressure 

When too much pressure is placed on a child academically, athletically, or otherwise, they are essentially set up for failure. While they may try their best to please their parents, coaches, mentors, and teachers, mistakes are inevitable. Perfectionism can cause their self-esteem to plummet when bars are set too high.

#4. Sensing Disapproval From Others

The adults closest to a child significantly affect how they view themselves and who they turn out to be. Thus, if someone they respect and look up to criticizes them, they will begin to feel as if they are not good enough. 

How to Build Up a Child’s Confidence 

• Giving a child sincere compliments and affirmations is one of the best ways to build up their self-esteem. It helps to affirm that not only did they do a great job, but it was noticed by someone that matters to them. On the other hand, it is important to avoid overpraising. For example, telling a child that they did a fantastic job during a particular sporting event when they knew they did not is ineffective and may create trust issues.
• A child may have studied their hardest and still not achieved the grade they hoped for. Instead of telling them to try harder, it is important to acknowledge their effort and the progress they have made. 
• Negative self-talk should be avoided in front of a child. Body image and self-critique can be instilled in others by accident. Instead, it can be helpful to vocally acknowledge when an individual did well at something themselves. The child will learn to do the same. 
• Avoid harsh criticism altogether. Harsh words can stick with a child for the rest of their lives and can affect how they view themselves. Instead, use constructive criticism when possible.
• If a child is struggling with something such as a school subject or sport, teach them how to do it better instead of encouraging them to give up entirely. This will show them that they can accomplish anything they set their mind to through hard work. 

Low self-esteem isn’t something that only teens and young adults struggle with. It can start at a very young age and can affect how a child grows up and the way they view themself. Thus, it is critical for parents to recognize signs of low self-esteem and poor self-image within their children and determine what is causing it. When a child is old enough to begin to compare themselves to their peers, they may notice their own flaws and shortcomings. One of the best ways to build up a child’s self-image is by giving them sincere compliments and affirmations. It’s also important to remember to not talk badly about yourself in front of them and to avoid harsh criticism that could affect their self-esteem. If you or someone you know struggles with mental health issues, our team at The Kimberly Center can help. Call (855) 452-3683 to learn about our therapy options and treatment plans.