You work all the time, your strive for perfection in everything you do, and and your time after work is filled with obligations. Does this sound familiar? It’s not that I don’t want to be happy, you might say to yourself, it’s just that I can’t allow myself to have happy.

Let’s look at what you might consider to be the attributes of a happy person. A happy person smiles a lot, they have tons of money, they dress well, they have time to travel and play sports, they laugh all the time, and drive a cool car. Is this true? Happiness doesn’t depend upon personal characteristics or walks of life. Someone can have all the material things in the world and be desperately unhappy. A so-called starving artist or a writer can be more happy than the rich man on Wall Street. Happiness doesn’t depend on outside stimuli. Happiness comes from within us.

Can we quantify or categorize happiness? Happiness means different things to different people. Abraham Lincoln said, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Happiness can be as simple as a moment in time when you feel extra good.

What about your relationship with yourself? Have you thought about why you are resistant to the notion of happiness? Here are some ideas to consider. Find a therapist who can help you get to the root of the block you put up against feeling happy. He or she may begin by guiding you back to your childhood.

For children, learning how to cope with regular disappointments needs to be mirrored by an adult. If an adult wasn’t present to provide a comprehensible mirror, then the child’s approach to disappointments later in life can be problematic. When something causes a child to feel happy, and is followed by a tragic event, the child may have difficulty navigating and integrating their reality. They may blame themselves, and unknowingly ward off anything they construe as happiness from that moment forward. That’s because the long-ago tragedy never got processed.

People may say they had a happy childhood, when they really didn’t. Happiness is held up as a standard or the crown jewels of life. Happiness, however is fleeting and inconsistent. Getting to know and trust yourself can bring about peace of mind. Peace of mind may be a far greater goal to achieve than happiness. When you have peace of mind, difficult times may still come and go, but you’ll be able to feel them fully in the present moment.

Evidence-based and built with passion. Our primary purpose at The Kimberly Center is to assist those who are suffering in finding recovery. Restoring a healthier, happier, more productive life, graduates of our program find themselves free from substance dependence and destructive behavior. Call us today for information: 855-4-KCENTER (855-452-3683)