Sometimes, it may even feel like everything — and everyone —  is out to get you. It’s easy to place the blame on everyone else when you face unfortunate circumstances. The mindset where you deflect all responsibility for your actions and ultimately view yourself as a victim of the actions of others is called a victim mentality.

What Is a Victim Mentality?

A victim mentality can have some extremely negative impacts on a person’s quality of life. Although there are many people with a victim mentality, many times, it is not intentional. Sometimes, it’s a way of thinking that you just fall into because it works or is a learned behavior.

Playing the victim can become a comfort zone or a strategy that people use to maneuver through life. People may play the victim to avoid leaving their comfort zone, numb themselves, get attention, or completely avoid all responsibilities.

It can be difficult to develop a relationship with those who have a victim mentality, especially when considering how hard it can be to identify the signs.

Some signs that you or a loved one may have a victim mentality include:

• Always feeling depressed or oppressed
• Needing an extreme amount of attention
• Blaming negative scenarios on “bad luck” or unfairness — never accepting personal responsibility
• Bringing your positive mood down with their negativity

Overcoming a Victim Mentality

The first step to overcome a victim mentality is to put together a plan and take the appropriate actions toward the changed perspective you want. Take ownership of your life by identifying actionable methods to improve your circumstances. Instead of complaining to anyone willing to listen, make a list of measurable changes you can make.

For example, many people with a victim mentality complain about their love life. To break out of this mentality, you can try tangible ways to create effective plans for change, like committing to a certain amount of dates per week.

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Life

Taking responsibility can be as simple as owning up to any mistakes you may have made that placed you or others in a bad situation. People often think that making mistakes makes them look weak, but admitting your mistakes is a sign of strength. Blaming your friends, families, and coworkers for your issues will get you nowhere, and it could even cause you to lose support from them and others.

You Have the Power to Change

Ultimately, you have the power to change your narrative. Whenever you feel yourself playing the victim, instead take the time to focus on the things you can control. If you can control it, then you have the power to change it.

If you don’t have much money but are invited to dinners or other outings, don’t get mad at your friends. Make the changes you can that won’t leave you feeling frustrated. While you are focused on making changes, you should also try to help people. This will take your mind off of your hardships and put your life into perspective, helping you appreciate the positivity in your life.

Empower Yourself to Say “No”

Sometimes simply saying “no” to obligations or requests can be empowering. You have the power to run your own life. Instead of being upset about doing thankless tasks at work, communicate with your coworkers and tell them you won’t be able to do certain things. Saying “yes” to everything, then being upset about your workload and how it’s so stressful can be counterproductive. Instead, take the time to recognize your role in the challenges that you face in life.

Self-Care and Being Kind to Yourself

Try to seek forgiveness in yourself and do the self-care activities that make you truly happy. This self-care could take the form of going for a long run, watching your favorite movie, visiting a friend, or performing yoga. The struggles that you may face with a victim mentality do not need to be permanent. Most of the issues you will face won’t last forever. Even in the periods where you have finally taken responsibility, and you feel bad, make sure that you still make it a habit to be kind to yourself.

Escaping the victim mentality is hard. Many people have this negative mentality without even knowing it. A victim mentality not only harms you but those around you. It can be hard to work on a team with someone who has a victim mentality. Not taking responsibility for the mistakes you’ve made can be perceived as arrogance or even like you are unaware of any of your wrongdoing. This level of awareness is a large piece of what makes someone a healthy, functioning adult. When others realize you are taking more accountability for your mistakes, they will be more inclined to trust you. Developing these traits can be more challenging for some than others, which is why there are professionals who can help you uplift yourself. The Kimberly Center is the perfect place to get the help you need, especially if you are battling anxiety and depression and those battles keep you from being your best self. Contact us at (855) 452-3683 for more information.