When some people struggle with substance misuse, they can lose their sense of empathy over time. This can be a result of several different factors. They may have been using substances to dull their emotions and, over time, have become numb. This, in turn, may have affected their ability to feel a sense of care and compassion toward others. It is also possible that the individual has experienced abuse, trauma, or other very painful life circumstance that caused them to turn to drugs or alcohol to cope. The pain of their past may have become their primary emotion, overruling empathy. However, cultivating empathy in recovery is essential.

Regaining one’s sense of empathy and learning why it is so important is a major aspect of the recovery journey. It is necessary to better understand how our actions can affect others. This can help in repairing relationships damaged by our substance misuse. 

Understanding What Empathy Is

Empathy is a term used a lot, but not everyone may fully understand what it means or how to successfully express it. It is an aspect of our emotional intelligence. Empathy allows us to put ourselves into someone else’s shoes and imagine what they are thinking and feeling. It also involves having compassion for that person as a result of what they are experiencing. You can feel empathy for someone even if you’ve never been in their position or gone through what they’re going through before.

There are multiple different types of empathy. Each type is important in how it relates to your relationships with others. You have cognitive empathy when you’re able to see where someone is coming from in terms of their perspective. There is also emotional empathy in which you can imagine how someone might be feeling. Finally, there is empathetic concern. With this, you can truly care about how your actions, good or bad, may affect other people and how they may cause them to feel.

Not everyone is born with a very strong sense of empathy. Others may lose their sense of empathy as they get older for various reasons. However, empathy is very important and it can be learned when practiced over time.

Empathy in Recovery and Loved Ones

Empathy is important not only for those on their recovery journey but for those closest to them. These individuals may have been harmed as a result of their loved one’s actions while they were engaging in active substance use. For example, maybe they were let down or betrayed. Perhaps their trust was broken. If you’ve not experienced addiction yourself, it can be hard to have empathy for your loved one, especially if they have done things to hurt you. This is why it can be said that an important aspect of empathy is understanding. When you better understand that addiction is a disease and how it has affected your loved one, it makes it easier to feel compassion for them.

This is where family therapy can be really helpful. When there are pain and hurt feelings, a conversation that was intended to be positive can turn aggressive and negative really fast. This can just deepen the hurt that has already occurred. Family therapy presents a controlled environment and a professional who can help guide the conversation, allowing everyone involved a chance to speak. This is a great way to better understand how past actions have hurt others and what needs to be changed moving forward to make amends.

The more you can understand – and express – empathy, the stronger your relationships will be.

Learning to Express Empathy in Recovery

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a friend or family member is sharing something very difficult that they are going through and you simply don’t know what the right thing is to say? You may feel a great sense of empathy and compassion for them but just not know the right way to fully express it. A lot of people make the mistake of comparing what their friend is going through to a personal experience of their own in order to try to make a connection. But this isn’t always the best idea. This is because it takes the focus of the conversation away from the individual who is currently struggling.

There are better ways to express empathy that truly show you care. You can acknowledge the person’s feelings and tell them how their suffering makes you feel.

For example, you can say, “I’m really sorry that you’re going through that. It makes me feel sad to know that you’re suffering.”

You can also show gratitude that they chose to open up to you. For example: “I’m sorry you’re going through this but thank you for sharing this with me.”

You can also show interest by asking questions to better understand and to show that you’re truly paying attention.

Empathy can be something that’s lost for those struggling with substance use disorder, but it can also be gained back. If you’re struggling with empathy, working with a therapist can help. Many people struggle with substance misuse in silence because they are afraid or don’t know what to expect from treatment. At The Kimberly Center, we offer both inpatient and outpatient treatment. We aim to make the treatment process as calm and peaceful as possible. Our patients get to recover in the privacy of their own rooms and with any amenities that they may need. If you’re struggling with substance misuse, we can help. Call us at (855) 452-3683 today to learn more.