Even though you got sober, this does not mean your character defects will automatically fix themselves. Many of the behaviors that you displayed under the influence such as selfishness, self-centeredness, dishonesty, jealousy, or fearfulness will most likely remain intact because that has become part of your normal everyday demeanor.

The people around you will probably have higher expectations for you to transform quickly out of your old behaviors without understanding that recovery takes time and work to gain improved results. Your actions and emotions will no doubt be all over the place due to the low self-esteem that drugs and alcohol played a big part in which could be unintentionally sabotaging your relationships.

You think you don’t deserve it.

Since you have low self-esteem and are used to being self-destructive, you think you are unworthy of being happy in your relationships. Everyone, including you, is worthy of having healthy and joyful relationships.

You think you will be rejected.

Your past tends to dictate your future and if you have rejection and abandonment issues in the past, you will continue to keep relationships for longer than you need. Having toxic relationships in your life will hinder you from growing in your own life and keep you hostage from being content. You will continuously think about what you can do to make them stay instead of pondering on what you need to improve your own status.

You think you need them to cope.

Codependency is often synonymous with addiction and makes you feel like you cannot survive without the relationship being present in your life. You think continuing to have them around will make you feel better although the reality is that unhealthy relationships usually make things worse.  

All of these examples are deceptive reasoning that the disease of addiction will conjure up to keep you from making strides in your recovery. Addiction changes the perception in the mind to tell you lies that are intended to get you to drink and use again. Working the 12-Steps and going to therapy can help you to analyze your particular patterns in these relationships and make changes or exit them altogether.

Sabotaging relationships is easy to do when you do not have the right tools, the right motives, or the right frame of mind to combat the ups and downs that come with them. Bottom line is that relationships are difficult to manage at times but are worth the work to keep the people around who were meant to be there for you.  

The Kimberly Center is an evidence-based treatment program that assists individuals who are suffering from substance abuse and related issues. Our goal is to restore a healthier, happier, and more productive life in recovery.

Call us today to begin: 855-4-KCENTER (855-452-3683)